This morning I stopped to get coffee and breakfast at my local coffee house- Oslo, in Williamsburg, which makes the best iced Americano I’ve had in New York.
I’ve never been in there before 9am, and was immediately very Britishly overjoyed to discover I had stepped straight into a New York movie set. The pretty red-head behind the counter was wearing a giant straw hat as she served espresso, bantering coquettishly with the dudes in the queue, saying “Yeah, when I was a kid, I just always wanted to be Anne of Green Gables!” I was hoping that while I was waiting, Hugh Grant or maybe Mark Ruffalo would be gazing at the redhead in such a daze that they would spill coffee awkwardly on their trousers (PANTS), and then she would have to mop it up in a cute fashion and they would giggle together …).
Anyway so I sat down at the table to drink my coffee, next to three old men- one with a big tache, one wearing glasses and one in a flat cap with a beard. They had a conversation that was so amazingly funny and New York-y that I seriously thought maybe one of them was Billy Crystal in disguise. I pretended to be reading, but really I just listened to them talk for 10 minutes and tried not to stare and smile.
“The kid that died in Ferguson? The mom didn’t even know who the dad was. Just a sperm in a jar, that kid. No wonder things went wrong.” YESSS OMG YES.
Then they started talking to a woman at our table, who had brought in her small boy on his way to pre-school. I guess the kid had just been to summer camp and they started asking her about it.
I was brimming so full of happy by the time I got to my croissant that I had to record a bit of their conversation. Here it is. Stick with it til the end and I guarantee you will laugh.
(Skip the first 5 seconds. Someone scrapes a chair, loudly. And sorry for the background noise, but trust me, it’s worth it.)