15 reasons why everyone should see the movie ‘Noah’.

(I wrote this after seeing Noah once, on a plane, and you should know that it a) contains spoilers and b) probably contains mistakes about the film, because I’m certainly not going to go back and watch it again just to correct this blog.)

1. It’s unexpectedly fast paced. Aronofsky just makes lots of batshit crazy things happen one after the other, which he doesn’t bother to explain, which is good; because if you stopped to think about them for even a second, they would be too ridiculous for words. Like what are those glowing seeds all about? Doesn’t matter.

2. Russell Crowe (Noah) spends the movie looking as portly and chunky as the owner of a pub on the M25, even though Noah is supposed to be a noble hunter-gatherer who subsists on berries and hates killing animals and is also doing lots of intense physical exercise. Jennifer Connelly just looks hot, and acts her little socks off.

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